Thursday, April 9, 2009

17 Stories: If I Wrote for www.fmylife.com

Everyday, fmylife gains more and more bizarre stories and even more popularity. Many people across the nation have spent countless hours reading about how someone's life has been fucked. Many of the stories on the website are convincing but the rest of just seem a bit too far fetched. Nevertheless, they keep us entertained and at least we can say that we've put in some reading into our day. Ever since I started reading these stories, I always thought that I could write for this website. So here is my attempt to mimic the unfortunate stories from fmylife.


Today, I spent 2 hours reading stories on www.fmylife.com instead of studying for my Math 143 final which is in 30 minutes. FML

Today, I figured this girl thought I was cute because she kept looking over at me. Later in the bathroom, I found that my friends had drawn a big ass penis on the side of my face and wrote the word "Cock" backwards on my forhead after I had passed out from drinking last night. FML

Today, I was fired for showing up to work drunk. I'm a prostitute. FML

Today, I went to an authentic mexican restaurant and got the "Cesar Chavez Special." It was just an empty plate. FML

Today, I got frustrated while playing Wii Sports and started cursing at the T.V. My newborn nephew overheard me. His first words ever were "fat bitch." FML

Today, a group of boys in a car drove by honking and whistling at me, screaming "Show us your tits, both of them." I am a man. FML

Today, my boyfriend's mom walked in on us having sex. He became very still because he thought that she wouldn't notice him if he didn't move. Dumbass. FML

Today, I mistook my girlfriend's birth control for my allergy medicine. I am starting to develop breasts. FML

Today, I got an erection during P.E. while in my gym shorts. My teacher randomly picked me to demonstrate jumping jacks. FML

Today, my mom walked in on me having sex with my girlfriend. I am 37 years old. FML

Today, my grandma wanted to borrow my iPod for her cruise to Alaska. After the ship left from the docks, I realized that I had a bunch of porn on my iPod. FML

Today, my professor walked over to me because she thought she heard a phone. She reached into my bag and pulled out my vibrator. FML

Today, I asked my mom for some AA batteries. She immediately pulled out her vibrator and handed me two AA batteries. FML

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house and went to get some cereal from her kitchen. While pouring the Cheerios into my bowl, I noticed that the box was unusually heavy. I reached in and pulled out her vibrator. FML

Today, my crush handed me a present at my birthday dinner. Excited, I immediately opened it first. It was a vibrator. I am a boy. FML

Today, vibrator. FML

Today, I gave the girl next to me a dirty look because I thought she farted. She immediately looked back at me disgusted. It turns out I was the one who farted. FML


You enjoyed my first blog. I'll write more when I find things to write about. Comment. Follow. Subscribe. E-mail. It's simple.

4 comments:

  1. yeah now you should make your own website that will gain popularity and eventually add ads to the website and tell people that the ads dont get you money but are for keeping the website up

    ReplyDelete
  2. "My boyfriend made a website mocking F-Mylife.... well all of its true- go read it.." -FML

    ReplyDelete
  3. good FMLs. like hausing5353 said above, you should start your own short-story site. It's free using Anekdotz, and it would make a great add-on for your blog.

    ReplyDelete